‡ I saw this pic floating around the Internet the other day and thought it was hilarious. I believe that “Macho Man” Randy Savage died on Friday, just in time to prevent the “rapture” that was to doom us all – well, those of us that are unsaved, I suppose.

I believe that Macho Man knew what needed to be done. Just like he allowed the Ultimate Warrior to pin him with just a foot on top of him, he put other people’s interests ahead of his own.

It’s Jesus’ fault, really. Taking Macho Man from us was like John Cena calling out The Rock. Be careful what you ask for…you just may get it.

Macho Man never backed down from a challenge, and he took Jesus on. I don’t have a source in Heaven, and I haven’t watched wrestling in years (only casually in March when The Rock came back). I didn’t buy the Macho Man vs. Jesus pay-per-view, but I’ve read that the match went something like this:

Macho Man enters to “Pomp and Circumstance” as usual. Lots of pomp, but not a whole lot of circumstance.

Jesus begins his entrance…slow, deliberate walk down the isle. He shakes many hands…more hands. Much more pomp than Macho Man. Still walking…this dude acts like he’s some sort of king.

When the bell finally rings, they lock up. Classic old school move here. Macho Man is strong, but not as strong as Jesus. Macho Man is thrown to the ropes, Jesus hits a big boot. The boot is bigger than Hulk Hogans. Randy is down, but not out. Jesus is a dirty player and picks Randy up by the hair….the crowd boos.

Randy goes to work on the body. He clotheslines Jesus. Leg drop by Randy. 1, 2, Jesus kicks out. Randy picks him up and throws him to the outside. Randy tries a dive from the ring, Jesus moves. Jesus throws Randy into the ring post. Ouch….

Randy gets up and is resting against the post. Jesus grabs a chair and wants to smash Randy’s head against the post. Randy moves, Jesus smacks the post, and the chair hits his own head. Seizing the opportunity, Randy rolls Jesus back into the ring. He stomps on Jesus. He picks him up and slams him right in the middle of the ring. Ooooooh yeaaahhh, we know what’s coming next.

Jesus is dazed and confused as Randy climbs up top. Randy raises his hands to the….sky? He delivers the elbow drop to Jesus! 1…..2…..JESUS KICKS OUT! He doesn’t seem to know that nobody kicks out from that.

Randy is not deterred…. he climbs up again. Drops another elbow on Jesus. Randy senses that the King of the Jews may not be going out like some punk. Randy decides to deliver 2 more elbows to Jesus. 1….2….3!!! Jesus, being the gentleman that he is, decides that the Rapture can wait. (Apparently 5 more months).

Well this post was long, unfunny and pointless, but I just wanted to say that Macho Man was a great personality. He was one of my favorite wrestlers back in the day. Rest in peace.

Also, check out my friend Lenny Lewis’ tracks. He’s been an admin on the boards for a while and is doing his own musical thing. Show him some love and support. You can check out a full length demo here, and some iTunes previews here.

‡ I had such a strange dream the other day that I had to let it marinate a few days before I could write about it. I think I waited too long. I don’t remember shit.

I remember some details, but there’s no real set up, so get your dream dictionaries out and psychoanalyze me.

The first thing that I can remember is being in Vegas with some friends. I can’t remember who, which may have been important. Anyway, our suite was around the corner from Hugh Hefner’s suite. Our party was raging so hard that he came to OUR suite. He didn’t bring any Playmates though, asshole.

Let me rephrase that…he didn’t bring any for us, that is. He had two for him, of course. Anyway, he wanted to play a game. Not a Saw-type torture game, but a real-life game of Clue (sort of.) Not even a dinner-mystery game…somebody really was going to die. Apparently that somebody was in the room. Not sure of how it played out, but after each round, someone would die and we’d return to the suite to start again.

I don’t remember much of what happened in between some of my friends dying (again, I don’t remember who was there, so I don’t know who died) and me surviving a few rounds of Hef’s twisted game. Then, Ted Turner and some other rich white guy walked into the suite. They congratulated me on a good game (so far) and so began another round.

At this point, I’m not sure how, but I end up with something embedded into my skin. It’s square and in my forearm. I decide to try and dig it out as it apparently is my ticket to salvation (at least for this round). But as I’m preparing to dig it out, I fucking fall asleep…in my dream…ala Inception.

The next level of my dream begins with me in a treehouse trading baseball cards with Seth Rogen. Then I just wake up (for real) and tried to get back to sleep to see if I can get back to the suite with the billionaires and bunnies. I can’t. So instead, I get up and put on my favorite clip. I’ve no fucking clue where it came from or what’s going on. Something tells me I don’t want to know. It always cheers me up, though. I hope it can do the same for you.